37. Deceived by Emptiness

Ahhh, humanity…..

So fragile, so easy to harm, to trick and to confuse.

I have been following Dr. Ramani Durvasula for a few years now. I found her on YouTube, of course, in a period when I was looking for answers. I needed to understand what was wrong. At that time, the question was - what was wrong with me? 

The search took time, tears and pain. I was somehow convinced that it was my fault that the people around me were as they were. That I could change them and fix them. I wanted to fix the world at some point. How delusional that was…

Time passed and I grew. I got stronger and could see the truth. 

So here we are now, during these first days of the new year, I finished reading the latest book from Dr Ramani with a title that is very suggestive “It’s not you”. 

Oh, it’s not my fault that I got tricked, used, ignored, forgotten and most importantly, my time was taken for granted? I will never get that time back. So now I want to make sure that I put it to good use. I squeeze every single drop of knowledge and wit out of that lost time. 

It’s good to know that it’s not me, but what do I do with this knowledge? You might ask yourself, as I did. 

The book is answering a lot of questions, and this one as well. If I were reading this with the mind of “then”, I would probably soak up each and every word. Hell, I would copy the book by hand in a notebook. 

Having read it now, I take it as a review. I mentioned that I know about Dr. Ramani from YouTube. The amount of knowledge and a sense of community that I found there was amazing. It was my support at that time. I don’t know what I would have done without this source of information. 

If someone is finding themselves in one of those absurd, crazy and ridiculous situations when nothing makes sense, then listening and reading Dr. Ramani feels like fresh air, life giving water.  

I understand why Dr. Ramani chose this title, but I also thought that it might be encouraging the victim mind. I feel repulsion for those who use the victim mindset in order to get advantages or favors.  

After reading the book, I understood that this is not the intention. I would say, she is trying to take the load off of the affected person's shoulders, trying to show them that they are caring in someone else’s cross on their shoulder. 

Like myself a while ago, there are many people out there making themselves crazy asking themselves, what did I do (to deserve this)? Understanding the circumstances and the sickness of the society we are living in, the emptiness those people have inside, the desperation that makes them do harmful things to others, using people for a certain purpose and discarding them soon after, makes it easier to survive and if possible, get out of those harmful situations.