13. The How and The Why

I am not sure if humanity has ever been better. I suspect that our consciousness has always been as dark as it is bright. Just that Time has an impressive effect on our perception. We live, maybe wake up one day to see both sides, maybe recognize the same struggle in ourselves, and as soon as that realization has been conceptualized, consumed by Time, we have already forgotten. We fall back in unconsciousness. Time puts everything in perspective. You might be wondering what the hell am I rambling about here. Well, I’m just writing down thoughts from inside my mind, the impressions I had while and after reading “The Madness of Crowds ” by Louise Penny . This being a crime novel I’m not going to disclose any details that might give you innocent hints as to whom might have killed whoever died in this novel. I’ll talk about the thing that kept me reading. Curiosity is always that one thing on my list. I was simply, oh so humanely curious to know who did it and how. How come nobody saw anything but yet, there it is, a lifeless human body. The snow and the ground underneath already trying to consume it. Picture that for a moment and you’ll understand maybe the intrinsic strangeness of such a thing : a lifeless human. Is That a human still, or am I overthinking this? Or am I not thinking enough? It must be surreal and confusing and impossible to actually comprehend the experience of a dead human. What just happened? Where did “ John” or “Maria” or "Whoever" go? The person was just there, comfortably soothed by their emotional juices, thoughts, hopes, pains and other human states. Where did they go? What made them disappear? To go where? I find this human “transformation” extremely interesting. When it happens under the influence of obscure or evil forces, the transformation becomes a crime. As if those left behind have an unspoken right to know, to assure themselves that what was taken away from them, was “correct”, that it wasn’t stolen. But on planet Earth as we know it, there are crimes as many as humans. It’s a neve ending cycle. Life is the other side of Death. I like reading books which explore this fine line. I like the sobering effect they have on me reminding me that somewhere, a human being is going through a permanent transforming. The living are left behind to figure our the How and the Why. What a heavy burden this mystery is. Life or Death. Is this reality just a forefront for a something else? Are we really alone, forgotten, and left to fend for ourselves in this whole wide universe? Where do we go when we go? Who knows.... I’ll keep reading, maybe my transformation will be the of a different kind, in this lifetime still.